2020 State of the Universe Address

Swami Beyondananda’s 2020 Vision

A Two-Step Program to Create Political Climate Change and Establish Heartland Security

“To upshift our karma in these challenging times, we must embrace political climate change — warmer hearts and cooler heads.” — Swami Beyondananda

Editor’s Note: Swami Beyondananda — student of the ancient Foo Ling Masters and Farce-Seeing Sages, Fooly-Realized proponent of Cosmic Comic Consciousness, and spiritual leader to countless FUNdamentalists (accent on FUN) — has taken up the issue of political climate change. Here is Swami’s annual State of the Universe offering his 2020 vision for healing the body politic and establishing Heartland Security, delivered recently at the Ascended Masters Golf Tournament.

Greetings, mirthlings.

Welcome to the 2020 State of the Universe Address, and the state of the Universe is … everchanging, same as always. And expanding. Ever since the Big Bang went boom and particles departed to the far reaches of the cosmos, we’ve been stretching the limits of the limitless. In the midst of all this far-flung dispersion, it’s good to remember we share One Common Ancestor: The Big Bang. So, any living being can proudly proclaim: “The Big Bang — that’s my Pop. I’ll be a son-of-a-gun!”

And with our current “shituation” on this planet, it makes sense to keep a cosmic comic perspective: We are part of the inescapable Oneness. The Universe has us surrounded. Might as well surrender!

And what better to surrender to than the power of love? (Remember … love is more powerful than fear, otherwise we’d be singing, “All You Need Is Fear”.)

And what better time to surrender to love than when the absence of love is running rampant?

Take our political system — please!

As the conversation becomes more toxic, people are taking things poisonally. On one side, we have people shouting, “DONALD TRUMP WAS SENT BY GOD!”

On the other side, people are shouting even more loudly, “YES — BECAUSE GOD RAN OUT OF LOCUSTS!”

It has been said — I know, because I said it — there are two political parties in America: The Democratic Party and the Undemocratic Party. Indeed, the Republican Party has been dominated by the lowest common dominator, and mining interests — as in, “that’s mine, that’s mine, that’s mine!” Consequently our planet has been over-mined and our democracy undermined. Thanks to “ethic cleansing” — where all the ethical people get cleansed out of positions of power — the rule of law has been superseded by the rule of lawlessness, and our democracy has devolved into a mockracy.

Meanwhile, in the impeachment case, Republican Senators called it acquits before seeing any evidence they didn’t want to see. Talk about notseeism! Well, as the old saying goes, if it quacks like a duck and steps like a goose, there is something fowl afoot. When accused of “selling his soul to the devil”, an unnamed Republican Senator vehemently denied the charge, insisting he was “merely renting it.”

And the Democrats? While the Republicans bend over backward for the special interests of agribusiness … big Pharma … the banking industry … and the military industrial complex, the Democrats are COMPLETELY THE OPPOSITE. They bend over forward.

And it is understandable. In a fixed game where money rules, they too have forsaken the Golden Rule for the rule of gold.

Which is why I call for impeachment — of the entire impeachable system. If we truly want a new President, we must stand for a new “precedent” — government of the people, by the people, and for the people, where the government does OUR bidding not the bidding of the highest bidder. That is the only way to heal the “bidderness” that has divided the body politic.

Introducing a Two-Step Program to Create Political Climate Change and Establish Heartland Security

So, how do we create political climate change and establish heartland security?

I’m glad I asked that question.

We do it by addressing three other questions: What’s so? So what? Now what?

What’s So? We are in the midst of the greatest reality show ever conceived — REALITY — where our species finds itself the reluctant hero in a real-life monster movie. A prehistoric dinosaur, Tyrantosaurus Wrecks, threatens the web of life and the web of love on this planet.

So What? We must realize that Tyrantosaurus Wrecks lives inside each of us as our “reptile brain” and in order to slay the monster, we must evolve from cold-blooded reptile to warm-hearted mammal. And yes, even Jesus believed in evolution otherwise he would have said, “Now don’t do a thing till I get back.” To put it bluntly, if this large-bodied, small-minded dinosaur doesn’t go extinct, then we will.

Now What? The time is right for an Evolutionary Upwising where we the people recognize we are the leaders we have been waiting for. Things have come to a head, and so we must come to the heart. The hindbrain must now take a back seat, as we remember that Jesus said, “The meek shall inherit the earth.” This is no meeky-mouse idea, my friends. The idea that only a “strong man” can save us, that is a phallusy.

So, as promised, here is my two-step program, mathematically guaranteed to work six times faster than 12-Step:

• Step One. De-Elect the Misleader. Yes, I know how challenging it was to vote for the lesser evil in 2016, when we had to choose between the Neocon and the Genghis Khan. And yet, it is undeniably true — when we fail to choose the lesser evil, we get … the greater evil. Tyrantosaurus Wrecks has brought our shadow to light, and now it is time for us to bring light to the shadow. The body politic’s immune system must be activated so that we take the first step toward healing. We begin the evolution by firing the first Big Shot.
• Step Two. Bring Left and Right Front and Center to Face the Music and Dance Together. When healthy cells fight other healthy cells in a body it is called autoimmune disease. So instead of pulling ourselves apart in a tug-of-war, we must now all pull together in a tug-of-peace, moving past the identity issues that divide us to the IDENTICAL issues that unite us: Clean air, clean water, clean food, clean government.

Our entrenched beliefs have kept us in the trenches for far too long. So instead of digging the trenches deeper, I call to conservatives, “come out of your FOX-holes” and to progressives, “come out of your NPR-holes” to gather around the virtues and values that 90% of us have in common. That is the only way we can isolate the sociopathogens.

We must bring together the entire political spectrum, from blue-blooded whites to red-blooded blacks, not to mention full-blooded redskins, and every shade in between. We must bring red tribe Republicans and blue tribe Democrats together in a Re-constitutional Confab where we talk until we are purple in the face. Remember, the only way to overgrow corporate personhood is with Purple Peoplehood.

Truly, the heart of the matter is the matter of the heart. Love lives in our hearts, and beliefs lie in our heads. And boy, do those beliefs know how to lie! They are telling us, “I am right! I am right!” and if we keep on that track it will be “last rites” for all of us.

So to establish heartland security, we recognize that our true security is in the land of the heart. And the best way to leave the static in the head for the ecstatic in the heart is through hearty laughter. We must embrace the Cosmic Comic Paradox: the world is in serious condition, and yet there is definitely something funny going on.

You want to uplift humanity? Begin by uplifting the corners of your mouth in a smile, and using the super-power of levity you can uplift the world.

Think I’m kidding? Of course I am. And you should be kidding too.

Before entering any political conversation, take a vow of levity: “All for fun … and fun for all!”

May you take humor seriously, and seriousness humorously. May the FARCE be with you. May you wake up laughing and leave laughter in your wake.